You want me to pretend like I don’t care.
Like the feelings I have just shouldn’t be there.
Boxing, containing, I love without taming.
Raw and uncensored, can’t hold back my failings.
A whole of me is a piece of you.
No matter what ladder I climb there’s the view.
Beyond some precipice afar and away,
Perfection’s never once enough clever to stay.
It’s hard to explain when the message is lost
Between every turn that we make.
There’s a loss.
Of expression as we calculate to maximize the gain.
Whatever I said then I thought wasn’t the same.
I’ll never be your first and I’ll never be your last.
Imagine what that feels like when your heart’s made of glass?
I keep on thinking there’s a way to make it through the dark.
But, every subtle little smirk leaves a little mark.
Impressions on my trust that’s more fragile than my faith.
Throwing all of my emotions right back in my face.
When you’re tricked and you’re fooled,
You know you’ve been schooled.
Ain’t no issue but a thing that I can formulate to sing.
Push it all deep down up and out of sound.
Make sure you don’t burst when everyone’s outta bounds.
They’ll label and say “Oh it wasn’t that way!”
But foolery is the key to the games that they’ll play.
They know you’ll have feelings that you just can’t explain.
It makes it so much easier for them to sprinkle the blame.
Emotions unstable as you falter with words.
All stuck in your head flying around like the birds,
You listened to and never once tried to decipher.
Got used to their tunes and followed the piper.
Straight to the river to subdue all your thoughts.
Hold them down underwater ‘cuz who woulda fought?
I guess sometimes it’s better to stare straight into the glare
So I no longer pretend,
I just don’t care.